St Patty

St. Patties day is one of my favorite holidays. Since I am Irish, I feel like it’s a day where I get to let my freak-irish flag fly. I get to brag to everyone about my heritage and how much I love potatoes and beer. But this year, it took a turn for the worse. After work, the interns and I walked around downtown in search of an Irish bar. We bar hopped for 4 hours together hitting on cute bartenders along the way. Eventually they had the right idea to head home and I decided to stay out and invite some more friends. At this point I am officially drunk like a skunk since we have been drinking since 5pm. My friends and I are all talking to guys and acting like complete fools. Eventually 1:30AM rolls around and I realize I really should go home. So I told my friends goodbye and walked outside to call an uber. Since the roads were so packed with people celebrating the holiday I walked down the street a bit. I opened my purse to grab my phone to make the call and nothing was there. My phone and wallet were both gone!  I started to panic! I had my purse on my body the whole time! How the hell is everything gone?? The bouncer of the club I was standing in front of, saw my panic and invited me inside to use his phone. He takes me inside and up the stairs of this club. I look down from the balcony and realize I am in a strip club!! I have never been in a strip club before and now I am sitting in the VIP room watching these beautiful women dance!!! The bouncer hands me his phone and I use the app to see where my phone is located. I see this little blue dot (which symbolizes my phone) cross the bay bridge and I know I’m never going to see it again. I start to cry because it dawns on me.. I am stuck downtown with no way home. No cash, no ID, no phone! I am officially screwed. The bouncer asks me if I would like him to call a cab, I am so relived! “Yes! Please.. Please call me a cab!” He turns to me and says “ok, but you are going to have to dance first.” My mouth dropped to the floor and I stood up said thank you for your help and ran out the door. I went back to the bar to see if my friends were still there.. and of course they were no where in site. Officially screwed now… I realize I am close enough to work.. I can sleep at the office. I ran up California Street (in heels) faster than a rabbit being chased by a hound. I barged through the doors, opened my laptop, and Facebook messaged my friends. Lucky they were still awake and lived close by. I ran over to their house explained the entire situation and slept on their couch. I have never been so scared in my life! The next day I wondered around downtown trying to find an ATT store and a bank that would help me without any form of ID. I finally got home, grabbed my passport and credit card (that I lucky left at the house since I was trying to pay it off), and walked down to ATT. The guy was such a jerk. I didn’t know my moms password and he wouldn’t let me use his phone to call her.  At that point I was just so upset that I just busted into tears and begged him to help me out. Finally he let me use his phone. In order to get a new phone I had to pay off my old my phone, pay off the three months of overages my mom had forgotten to pay, and also had to buy a new phone. 2,000$$$ later I got a new phone, ordered a new debit card, and bought a new bus pass. It was the shittiest weekend ever! I just can’t believe I went to the strip club for the first time! Haha.. ooh what a story! Ill never forget SF trying to screw me over! Ha.